Tears Hidden in the Rain
by Nekomata-17
Summary: Songfic. Kagome remisces on the moment she knew she was left alone...


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Tears Hidden in the Rain

Nekomata-17

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I stare as the rain sputters against the ground… I can't see the moon anymore… the clouds are too dark… I feel my heart thudding dully as I gaze at the shrine grounds… I barely notice that my body is becoming cold… I barely notice the rain now; I still hear its pattering. The weather becoming worse… but nothing registers in my mind… my mind is too full of memories, memories that are tearing me to pieces… I try desperately not to cry, so I do the first thing that comes to mind… I hum… even then… I can't get the events from earlier from my mind…

* * *

Flashback

* * *

It was soon after the battle with Kaguya. I stood at the foot of the Goshimboku, remembering when I had kissed Inuyasha. I had not known it would break the spell… I just wanted him back… to show that I cared about him… I wondered if he would still go back to Kikyo… I was cut out of my thoughts when I felt warm arms encircle my waist from behind, already knowing who it was. I shivered at the warm breath next to my ear, as the Hanyou whispered the three words I have waited my life to hear…

"I love you…"

_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong_

After words being turned and pulled into a loving and gentle kiss… I let him into my heart… I let him know who I was… he was the one who made me feel strong, protected… who made me feel like I was something…

I would forever remember this moment…

_Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

My half lidded eyes stared ahead at nothing in particular, as I let the faintest of smile grace my lips and the smallest of light shimmered in my eyes… I was still humming… but as I thought of the other memories muddled in my mind… my eyes turned back to their blank stare, and my smile turned down, no longer was I smiling… no matter how much I wanted to hold in those tears… I couldn't… there was no point anymore… my rears fell… but no one would notice… not only would it mix with the rain… but no one was around to care…

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

I wanted to forget and with out realizing… I had a dance to the hum that I had… my arms swayed from side to side. My feet walked me in circles, gliding along the cement. I closed my eyes, bringing my head from side to side, and soon, slowly I was twirling… dancing in the rain…

I felt my heart tear again as my mind continued to work…

I remembered… what he said… what he did… and it hurt…

As I continued to remember, my humming was now not just a hum… it now represented a song… a song that spoke volumes…

_I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on_

* * *

Flashback

* * *

I awoke from slumber, looking around the hut I was in… I realized it seemed colder… like I had lost a warmth I wasn't supposed to. I looked around me… everyone in their slumber. And then I knew what I lost…

I got up and walked outside the hut… looking for my warmth… and then… I found it… but it was providing warmth for someone else… but what hurt the most… was not that arms encircled one another, but also were lips.

I walked away… knowing that I was not needed anymore… I was in so much of a daze that I just went back to the hut and back to my sleeping bag. Waiting for the sun to come… hoping it was some form of nightmare… but it was no nightmare…

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

I don't remember much of waking up… eating… conversing with my friends or seeing the man who dropped me in this daze… I don't even remember when a rogue demon found us… I wasn't quick enough… and it angered my protector that he always had to look after me… I walked away when he was finished talking… thinking I hadn't heard him… that I hadn't heard him when he called me weak… a copy… a nothing…

Through all the times that I have known him… I never saw him this angry before… I continued walking until I saw a pair of feet before me… It was her… after thinking he made the wrong choice… he changed his mind and chose her… I only allowed her to follow me to the campsite to join the others. I watched as she hugged him… but then I moved my gaze… I was worthless… so what right did I have to look at them, and I would never let them see my tears… I never noticed the golden eyes gaze upon me for fleeting moment…

_Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore..._

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I was woken to a similar face to myself… I never questioned when I followed the figure to the well… never did I resist when she grabbed the shining orb from around my neck… I never let the tears escape my eyes as I watched my former love look at me from a distance, hidden in the bushes… and I never screamed when the woman pushed me back… letting me fall silently through the blue mist.

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

And here I am… the worthless being that I am… dancing to a hum… a song that I can't help but think about… The rain sputtered around me… mixing with my tears… no longer am I waiting for someone…. I thought I was loved… I thought I met the one who would never let me cry… so here I am… the fool… dancing in the rain…

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry…  
_

_Behind these hazel eyes…_

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A/N: Recently I have been feeling under the weather, so I decided to write this… just guy issues that every girl suffers through . So anyways, I hope you like this story, and please review and tell me what you think. Preferably no flames . 


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